Why We Give Up Just Before Change Happens.

Any time we try to introduce something new into our lives, a response can occur within the mind. This might be a physical change like starting a diet, exercising or improving sleep, or changing daily routines. It can also be a mental change, such as working with hypnosis, learning new techniques, changing thought patterns, or committing to personal growth.

At first, motivation is usually high. There is clarity and intention. Then, often just as the change begins to settle in, resistance appears. Physically, this may feel like tiredness, restlessness, or effort. Mentally, it often shows up as doubt, loss of motivation, boredom, or thoughts like “this isn’t working” or “what’s the point.” This isn’t failure. It’s the system adjusting.

The brain, the body and nervous system adapt to repeated behaviour and becomes efficient at what they already know. When something new is introduced, the system has to reorganise, which requires extra energy and attention. When that demand increases, the mind often responds by pulling us back toward what feels familiar, even if it isn’t helpful.

This is why diets often feel hardest just before results appear, and exercise routines feel most uncomfortable just before strength improves.

Change takes repetition. New habits, physical adaptations, and mental patterns don’t settle immediately. There is often a phase where the old way no longer feels right, but the new way doesn’t yet feel natural. This in-between stage is where many people stop, not realising they are close to change taking hold.

The urge to quit at this point isn’t a sign that something isn’t working.

It’s often a sign that something is changing. The discomfort is temporary. What makes it feel permanent is not understanding what’s happening.

When people understand this process, they stop blaming themselves. Instead of assuming something is wrong, they recognise this phase as part of change. That awareness alone makes it easier to continue.

This is why preparation matters as much as technique.

When people expect this moment, they are far more likely to stay with the process. Consistency teaches the system that the new behaviour is safe. Over time, what once felt difficult becomes familiar, and resistance fades.

This response isn’t limited to healing or self-development. It applies to any change, physical or mental. The context changes, but the mechanism is the same.

What to Do When This Shows Up

First, recognise what’s happening. When doubt or resistance appears, remind yourself that this is a normal part of change, not a sign to stop.

Second, avoid making decisions in the moment. Pause instead. Most urges to quit pass if they aren’t acted on immediately.

Third, keep going at the smallest manageable level.

You don’t need to do everything perfectly. One small action is enough to keep the new habit alive.

Fourth, focus on consistency rather than intensity. Change is built through repetition, not pushing harder.

Also this is a time to let go of blame, if you fail, you are not sabotaging yourself, have no will power or are lazy, your unconscious patterns are strong but with consistency you will prevail, pick yourself up and start again.

Finally, don’t do it alone.

Change is easier to stay with when you have support. Working alongside a friend, family member, coach or therapist can help you stay motivated and grounded when doubt appears. Having someone who understands what you’re trying to do and can remind you why you started makes it much easier to continue.

Linda Mackey